You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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