I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
