it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize
