I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Randomize