OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
My vagina is officially offended.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
