When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
