Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
