What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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