dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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