I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
