i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
you have to choose: penises or morals?
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
