Well douche your snatch and let's go!
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
