Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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