Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
