Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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