Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
