and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
