i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
