I love black thongs
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
