i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
