you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
