of course. lets lasso hookers.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
