i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
