If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Randomize
