Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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