i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
