i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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