also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I think my vagina is haunted
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
