You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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