jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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