sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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