Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
