His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
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