ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
