be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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