Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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