I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Randomize
