you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
did i walk over a car last night?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
