He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
