The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
