I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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