True but thats because hes a fetus.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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