i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
