It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
why is half of my head shaved?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
