census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
