Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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