we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
