saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
