I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
