guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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