Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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