My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
