Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
