Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
